


She had everything that he had lost

by fuckkforever



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Damaged, F/M, Loss of Faith, Loss of Innocence, Unrequited Love, r.i.p. 2 my youth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22104838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckkforever/pseuds/fuckkforever
Summary: Grima thinks about Eowyn.
Relationships: Éowyn/Gríma Wormtongue
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	She had everything that he had lost

> _She knew nothing,_ _but she had everything that he had lost_
> 
> _-_ **The Picture of Dorian Gray, O. Wilde**

Grima knew, deep inside of him, that he would never have her. He also knew that, even if he hadn’t sided with Saruman, the Princess’ affection would have gone to someone else. After all, he was a dreadful creature, unworthy of such a beautiful gift.

She was a dream, the last thing that kept him human, and allowed him to cling to his old self. When he thought of Eowyn, he felt like a boy again. She reminded him of youth, innocence and pureness. She reminded him of warmer days, when he had hoped for a life full of love and satisfaction.

But time had turned him into a monster, full of self-loathing and longing for someone who had everything that he had lost. He envied her, and therefore he wanted to own her… And yet.

He hadn’t looked at his reflection for a long time; when he did so, he hated himself, and who he had become. Such a perverse and ugly man he was. In that moment he could convince himself to let her go, in order not to spoil the only light in his life.

He wanted her, and he wanted her not.

Because Grima lived for the desire he held for Eowyn. Without that burning feeling, what would be of him? So he had spent most of his life watching her, admiring her pale complexion and blonde locks, her bright eyes and elegant dresses. She seemed to feel disgusted of him, and he felt ashamed of himself in her presence. Eowyn was so young, and courageous, loyal, loving and kind. But not towards him. Never towards him.

Maybe if he had met her when he was a young, skinny boy himself, not as virile as her brother, but kinder, and naïve... Maybe then… They could had been friends. Maybe.

Grima couldn’t stand his feelings for her. He sometimes wished not to feel anything at all. He was destined to carry the pieces of his broken heart in his chest forever. And the Princess… She would one day flee from him, like the wind that blows from the South in order to caress the North for one fragile instant… These thoughts too often invaded his mind and drove him to desperation.

If she could only understand… He thought. If she could only see behind those disturbing eyes…

Grima knew, deep inside of him, that she would never want him. And so, one day, he abandoned the little boy who lied somewhere in him, the one who felt so simile to Eowyn, and decided to let the monster take control. From that moment, he stopped thinking about his Princess as a woman he could love, and started seeing her as the prize he would eventually win.

She’d never give herself to him willingly. But Grima would take her, nonetheless.


End file.
